Consider

I think we are unintentionally bad at naming pets as a species. Ironically we named everything ourselves, multiple times in different languages. You'd think we would be good at it already. Most of the time the names lack originality, while the rest of the time we go too far. I think Mr Musk knows it too well. Regardless, while Honey is either copied from the internet or from the neighbor's dog's name due to our chronical laziness, Honneei refuses to follow the arbitrary conventions of how to name a pet. It just looks pretentious. But how about intentionally bad names? Let's consider and rank some:

Note: In these ranking posts, users will be able to give a star rating to each item soon.

Shark - What a cool name, right? Sharks are the infamous carnivores of the ocean, scary enough to push a hoard of humans in panic onto the shore, just by showing its fin above water. That's cool, I guess. Although, if you are considering to name your dog Shark, I hope you do not live close to a beach. Calling your dog from a distance would be scary until you are known as the boy who cried shark.

Dog - I love the lack of enthusiasm with this. I'm sure Dog the Dog won't mind, but I will. Can you imagine being named Human? You'd feel ordinary, so much that no one bothered to give you a name. Ironically though, I don't imagine there are many humans named Human nor dogs named Dog. In a way, it is unique and unoriginal at the same time. It's just that you'd look like a three year old who points at everything and tell their name every time you call your dog. Even better, someone might think you are playing Zitch dog. And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Shoo, Away, Leave or similar - A neigbor had three dogs named Git (Go away), Hayır (No) and Host (Shoo) in Turkish. I laughed so hard when I first learned this. It sounds like a prank for a friend who is afraid of dogs. Their attempts to shoo the dogs away would be in vain if you have multiple dogs with such names. I can also imagine a scenario where you have two dogs named No and Come. It would be difficult to shoo them both at the same time. Funny, but not practical.

... - Less is more. Speech is silver, silence is golden. Yet I don't think they meant this. You can look at your dog and have some sort of communication without sounds, but addressing them is challenging. Not only that, you mess up English.

A: Look what ... is doing?
B: What what is doing?
A: ...

Even worse:

A: Who's a good boy?
B: excited dog noises
A: ...
B: sad dog noises

Antidisestablishmentarianism - Look, just because you can, does not mean you should. You might really like Church of England and be an anti-antidisestablishmentarianist, but that does not mean you should spend half of your life reading and typing the name of your dog. "Who's a good boy? Yes, you, Antidisestablishmentarianism! Where is the little Antidisestablishmentarianism? There you are! Aw, you are such a sweetheart Antidisestablishmentarianism!"

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Askim or Asker - The names mean my love and soldier respectively, in Turkish. So what's so wrong about this? Well, you will have some confusing interactions in the future when someone asks "What's its name?" and you reply with "Ask him/her"

Brother or Sister - I understand that dogs become like a brother or a sister to us after a while. They are a part of the family. Although, this name may prompt someone to call the child services knock on your door soon if a bystander is concerned enough:

Yeah, Brother is tied in the backyard.
I give the bones to Sister, she likes to eat them!
Brother's leash broke, we need a new one.
Sister is 8 years old and weighs 5 kilos. I think we are feeding her a bit too much!

So there is no top 3. No, this is not a call for engagement. I find it amusing that someone read this far and was very invested in this list, just to be annoyed there is no top 3. Life is like that. You start doing something, plan years ahead, have plan B or C or D or even Z, but anything can go wrong any time. Everything turns upside down in the blink of an eye. It is best to take a breath and move on, because that's all we can do sometimes.